Things.....

Well, today after school i went to City Square wif Jourdan and Brendan. They went there to buy some stuff and i just wanted to teman them only. But when Jourdan went over to a shop which he bought a present from, my eyes got locked on "THE THING I WANT THE MOST". A SpogeBob plushie. I bought it. No matter what the price is. I HAD TO. Then went back home feeling really happy. Until i started thinking of school.

Things have been unfair there to me though. There was a selection of the school basketball team. As usual, i went for every training that was held as the seniors said that commitment was inportant. So today was really a bad day for me. I was walking with Jeremy and Jeffry to the toilet and suddenly Jeremy told me, "Eh, you know ar, Shukri is in the school team wei. He chose his number edi. Calven and Wei Yan is also in it." I had to hold back my tears. Few days ago, Mr Chew, the basketball team advisor told me and a few other guys that we're running low on Form 4 players ad are looking for people like you. "However we will have to take some Form 2 students coz we need them to fill the squad." My hopes were high then. Last Saturday was the first official training. We went to have lunch and went to Angsana by Bee Goh's ( the one who selects the team members )car to get a ride from Jeremy's mom. Which didn't happen. Had to take a cab back home. I came back home feeling dead tired and broke ( thanks a lot wei, jeremy!!! ).

Then i started thinking why i wasn't picked. Was it because i was invisible to Bee Goh's eyes? Coz he didn't know me at all and when i got out of his car at Angsana, he looked kinda suprised to see me exit his car. All the Form 4 guys that went for the training got picked. Was it because Kai Sheng forgot to write my name on the attendance list? Maybe he got tired and couldnt think properly. But what really isappoited me was the fact that a few guys that didn't attend the training got picked. Bee Goh once said that commitment was the most important attitude to show to get into this team. Still, he picked those that never came for a single training. I can do lay-outs and shoot. What do i have to do? Slam Dunk!!!???

ITS JUST TOTALLY UNFAIR.

Moreover, i almost got kicked out from the Interact meeting room last Friday coz they think i was acting so "childish". It started off when thay did this Valentines dedication thingy and wanted a volunteer to make contact wif Sri Tebrau. Then i raised my hands coz i know some people there. But Jourdan and Gurvinder thinks i'm doing it for the girls. NO. Coz i wanted to do a really good job and prove myself for the curretly vacant Publicity Director post which i was one of the candidates. So Jourdan and Gurvinder raised their hands while standing in front of me and shouted ME! ME!. That made us look like a bunch of fools. Then Jonathan went in front of the class and had a word with the President and the Vice-President. Instantly, his name was written on the job. That got me really pissed off and angry coz he was supposed to volunteer like a normal member by taking a seat and raisig his hands up. Dahlah he got Funding Director. Why dont he just do his fucking job and revise the budget!!!

I kicked a chair and that almost got me kicked out. They think i'm trying to do something funny. Which means they're not taking me seriously. After the meeting, Joseph told me something that really hurt me. " Bryan, although you have contributed much, you haven't made much progress. And the way you acted just now was just disappointing. I now doubt your position as the Publicity director." DO YOU THINK I WANT TO MAKE A FUCKIN JOKE WHEN I'M PISSED OFF!!!??? AND HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE PROGRESS IF YOU DONT GIVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO SO!!!??? But thanks to Shan for listening to me when i was in the bus with me. I was holding back my tears. Karyn too.

things... are not just happening for me at the moment......